I don't know how many time zones there are on this planet, but Joselyn and I recently traveled through eighteen of them: nine going east, and the same number, probably, coming back. Just now I read every printed inch of both Saturday AND Sunday's newspaper, including the ads for cat food and cheap desks, and it's 5 in the morning and I'm ready for lunch because I skipped dinner when I fell asleep last night at 7, if you know what I mean.

In Prague the International Winter Olympics were on every TV set. It appeared that a great number of countries were competing. Here at home we have a different set of games featuring American athletes in every event.

The bookstore staff in Mendocino is ecstatic because the nephew of our resident Dutch bookseller won two golds and one silver, speed skating. We have glued his triumphal picture on top of our best seller list. His aunt greets everyone with "Look! We won gold! Twice! And a Silver!" Then she trots off in her wooden shoes to shout at the next person in the door. It's charming.

Wandering around the cold streets of Prague, and I can report there are no warm streets in Prague, we stumbled into The Good Soldier Svejk bar and restaurant. The Czech author Jaroslav Hasek was reputed to hang out in this establishment at one time. Illustrations by Josef Lada from the famous book were everywhere -- in the windows, on the menu, on the backs of each chair. Joselyn had dumplings with chicken and shrimp in a creamy sauce. We hoisted a Pilsner brew to the Good Soldier, and had an excellent time in his café.

In the bookstore of Charles University in Prague I purchased a Penguin edition of The Good Soldier Svejk, turning to the author's preface which is quoted on the restaurant menu. Hasek writes:

Great times call for great men. There are unknown heroes who are modest, with none of the historical glamour of a Napoleon... Today you can meet in the streets of Prague a shabbily dressed man who is not even himself aware of his significance in the history of the new era. He goes modestly on his way, without bothering anyone...

Hasek's book is immense, and would have been much longer had the author lived to finish it. It's a wandering tale that takes place in the waning days of the Hapsburg empire and the Great War of 1914 - 1918. It is funny, almost slapstick, and every sarcastic page resonates with satire. Svejk, the simple Czech, defeats bureaucrats and confounds secret police with a sweet smile and peasant simplicity.

The book begins with the assassination of the Archduke Ferdinand in Serbia, the event that finally unleashed World War One. "And so they've killed our Ferdinand," the first sentence reads. "Which Ferdinand, Mrs. Muller?" asks Svejk. "I know two Ferdinands. One is a messenger at Prusa's the chemist, and once by mistake he drank a bottle of hair oil there. And the other is Ferdinand Kokoska who collects dog manure. Neither of them is any loss."

The Good Soldier Svejk turns out to be the perfect book to read when one's circadian rhythms are whacked out. My internal clock just chimed nine at night. Outside my window, however, it appears to be dawn in Mendocino. No matter. I've still got 700 pages to read, whatever time it is.

Orders/Information:

The Good Soldier Svejk & His Fortunes in the World War by Jaroslav Hasek. Penguin paperback. 322 Kroner, or $14.95. ISBN 0140182748.